Nightmare
by Kinda.Sorta.Insane
Summary: Nightmares are dreams too. In a way. It wasn't just a nightmare.


Nightmare

Warnings- Bad language. Bullies.

I'm trapped. I can't honestly say it hasn't happened before either. He has me pinned to the wall. The dirty wall. My hair will be ruined. It's hard to think thoughts like these when something horrible is going on. I don't move. I'm trembling. My hands are pressed to the wall. I close my eyes. _Don't feel._ His hands slide down my arm. Beefy and sweaty and disgusting and and and… I think I'm going to be sick. _Don't cry. Don't cry. Don'tcry. Don'tcry. Don'tcrydon'tcrydon'tcrydon'tcry._ Tears slip down my cheeks, unbidden. His thumbs rub circles on my cheeks. It would've been gentle… If it weren't for his words. _Don't listen._

"Do you like that? Do you? You fag." A low, hateful murmur. _I'm not firewood. I'm not._ I choke down a sob. His gentle touch turns harsh and he slaps by face. _It stings. Don't panic. It's ok. It's ok. It's ok. It'sokit'sokit'sokit'sok. It's… not ok. _His nails leave angry red lines down my arm. _I can't fight back._

"You're not even going to fight back? You think you're so pretty? Boys shouldn't look like girls. I'll _ruin_ you're face. You won't be _pretty,_" he sneers the word, "When I'm through with you." _You're not about to get beaten up in a bathroom. You're… You're… You're about to get beaten up in a bathroom._ I hold back another noise. _Where is everybody?_ Just when he pulls his arm back, bout to punch, the bathroom door flies open. I've never been so relieved in my life. _Thank God. Someone __**help**__ me._

"James?" The anger in his voice is barely controlled. I can _hear_ the promise in his voice. _Someone is going to be in a lot of pain._ I'd be scared if I wasn't already. MY trembling only gets worse. "What's going on here?" _No, not pain. Agony._ He turns around.

"You friends with this kid?" He jerks his thumb towards me. _Don't move._ I slide down the wall and wrap my arms around my knees.

"_What did you __**do**__ to him?_" I shiver. _Scary._ Kendall takes a step forward, hands balled into fists, ready to punch.

"Look man. This _thing_ here, he _deserves _this." He steps back though. _No one messes with Kendall._ _No one. Never._ I whimper.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Nor do I care. If you think that _James_ deserves to be beaten up you should burn in hell." Kendall throws the first punch. I knew he would. He's a hothead sometimes. That's why I like him. People never expect it.

"James." I look up. Kendall's looking down at me. He's holding out his hand. His eyes are soft and concerned. _Don't be so nice to me!_ I take his hand. When we get back to the apartment, we go to our room. He sits me on my bed and leaves the room. He hasn't spoken since the bathroom. It's scary. When he reenters, he has a first aid kit. He holds out his hand.

"Give me your arm." His voice is low and rough. I give him my arm. His hands are soft when they brush the marks. _Don't be so gentle!_ I didn't even know that they were bleeding. He's careful when he cleans and dresses the lines. There's gauze wrapped up the length of my forearm. It doesn't hurt anymore. When he puts the medical stuff away, his hands come toward my face. I can't hold back the flinch even though I _know_ he won't hurt me.

"Sorry." It's quiet, but I know he heard.

"'T's alright." But it isn't. I know. I hurt him. _I'm sorry._ He tilts my chin so that the slap mark faces him. _Gonna bruise._ His eyes burn. He's mad.

"I'm sorry James." _It's not your fault!_ And he is. I can see it. He's _sorry._

"Not your fault." I can tell that he doesn't believe me. I can _tell_.

My face is in both his hands. _It's not like it hasn't happened before. _He leans forward. _It's been worse._ Our lips touch. _I can take it._ I lean into it. _For you._ He pulls back. _I __**love**__ you._ He smiles. _I love you Kendall. _

"I love you James."

(-) (-) (-)

I wake up. On the floor. It hurts. Stupid floor. I pout. And I know that I look stupid. I'm sitting beside my bed, tangled up in my sheets, pouting. Yep. Very stupid.

"James? Are you ok?" Kendall.

"Yeah. I just… fell out of bed." I can _hear_ his smile.

"You fell out of bed?" I think he's going to laugh.

"Noooo. I just decided to sleep on the floor instead of the bed." Sarcasm. Love it.

"Did you have a nightmare?" He's teasing I know it but-

"Yes."

"You did?" Kind of.

"Yes. Remember the first time we kissed? I was dreaming about that. What did you do to that guy anyway?"

"Nothing pleasant." His voice is dark.

"…Oh."

Ah… I don't really like this one. Bullying like this is real though and this just wouldn't go away. It had to be written.


End file.
